More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
