That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
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she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
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I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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