She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
