farters have to be the big spoon...
I'm passing your future prison.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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