Apparently you make a good broom.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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