My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
