Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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