It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
