Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
