You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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