I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Just pee around me
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
