If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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