I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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