he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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