you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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