ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
