The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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