apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
