You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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