Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
