Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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