My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
organizing the empties. That sober.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
