i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
