she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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