dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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