we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
