i was born a porn star she said
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
