i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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