Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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