You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
