I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
