fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions