So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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