It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
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I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
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After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?