Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
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Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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