I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
