I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
