There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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