You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
