Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Houston, we have a squirter
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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