I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She even gives head with a lisp.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
