I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
