Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The Olympian is in my bed
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
