they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My life is pants optional.
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