Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
