hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
