brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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