I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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