sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
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