He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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