you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
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