I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
