Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
It's Friday. Sex?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
