I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
