So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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