I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
