his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
