I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
