at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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