i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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