some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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