We won't sleep together?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
We had sex on a dog bed..
You had me at "let me see your balls"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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