i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
