wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
