Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize