I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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